CAUTION
This publication contains explicit adult content not suitable for anyone who is not an adult.
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NOTICE
We believe that an active and healthy sex life, based on mutual consent and respect between partners, is an important part of a healthy relationship. We also believe in the practice of safe sex, through the use of contraceptives, regular medical examination, or both. Moreover, we respect that sex is a private matter and that each person has a different opinion of what sexual practices or beliefs are appropriate.
We are committed to offering responsible, professional, and helpful advice about sexual matters. However, this book is intended as a reference only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional advice. Please consult a competent professional for your specific sexual, medical or other concerns.
In order for both you and your partner to enjoy the experience, it's important that you learn a little more about how the other person works. What works for you may not always work for your partner. If you're trying to row a boat and the two of you are peddling in different directions, it will get very frustrating, you won't enjoy the ride, and you'll never reach your destination.
So, let's learn a little about how you can satisfy your partner and how your partner can satisfy you, and make this ride a lot more interesting.
Men can usually be ready for sex immediately. And...the moment they're ready for sex, they're ready for intercourse. Most women usually need at least 15 minutes of foreplay before they are ready for intercourse. This isn't a habit or preference. It's just how their bodies work.
Since we are not bom with this knowledge about the opposite sex, it is time we learn it. Trust me, it will serve you well!
Since men are ready for intercourse right away, their immediate area of focus is their genitals. And, since they want to be touched and pleasured in their genital area immediately, they assume that this is also true for women. As a result, during foreplay, men are in a hurry to get to the woman's genitals. For men, this is the best way to give pleasure to the woman because this is how they would like to be pleasured.
In contrast, women need more time spent on foreplay before they are ready for intercourse. So, they assume this is true for men as well. And as a result, during foreplay, most women will touch a man everywhere but his genitals. Just like the man, the woman assumes that since this is how her body works, it is probably the best way to give pleasure to the man as well.
And so begins the dance of confusion where everyone's stepping on everyone else's toes. The man will want to touch and pleasure the woman in her genital area immediately or he will want to get to intercourse, which will make the woman feel rushed. The woman will touch the man everywhere else until the man finally grabs her hand and puts it on his genitals.
It's safe to say that the result of this experience is confusion and frustration.
If the man gets his way and speeds through everything, the woman is left unsatisfied and sometimes sore. If the woman is able to slow things down so it works out better for her, the man may feel frustrated or even rejected. He may feel that he's doing something wrong.
It's a mess, to put it mildly.
So, how can we fix this?
Well, the fact that you're taking the time to read this book is a great start. The only way to fix the problem is through knowledge, as we've mentioned before.
The best advice we can give to men is to slow down.
Men need to spend more time on kissing and touching her before they go anywhere near her genitals. (The actual techniques will be covered in more detail later.)
If needed, have a clock in the room as a guide. Of course, don't make it obvious that you're timing yourself. It's just an aid. The reason for this exercise is to illustrate that the time elapsed during sex usually seems much faster to the man than the actual time elapsed. While you're kissing her, it may seem to you that 5 minutes have passed when in fact it will usually be much less.
Here's a great comparison:
If a man and a woman were sitting across a table enjoying some ice cream, the man would usually be done with the ice cream very quickly. That's just how he eats. Some men will actually swallow it whole, if they could, within a few seconds.
Sitting across from him is the woman. The woman will usually take her time with the ice cream, or any other dessert for that matter. She will savor every moment, every molecule. She will tease herself with it. She will make the pleasure last as long as she can. She will take a spoon of it and barely touch her tongue with it. She will close her eyes and feel that tiny drop of sweet, creamy ice-cream melt on her tongue. Ummmmm....Heaven, thy name be Rocky Road.
That's a woman's idea of pleasure ... Indulgence.
So, while there is a time and place for quickies, and we will definitely cover that later, for the most part, be the delectable dessert for her so you can both enjoy the experience for a much longer period of time.
What Women Should Know
In contrast, the advice we'd like to given women is to speed up just a little.
Start stimulating his genital area fairly quickly.